the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
