Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
