Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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