can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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