I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
