dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
