Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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