go do what you do best...puke behind churches
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
