oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
