I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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