Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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