don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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