just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm drive I can fine osifer
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize