if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
