I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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