How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you would pick up someone in the library
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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