There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
