that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
