id be glad to
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize