so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
