I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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