"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Are we still banned from the library?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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