I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
