I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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