I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
