I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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