He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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