there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize