After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize