Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
