Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
