Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
