i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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