His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
