You really coming over, don't trick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
