...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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