Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
