break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
