Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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