some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
