At least make sure they are 18
Why
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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