We named our party play list daddy issues
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
