im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
