Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
