i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
