so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
