It's like God shit irony all over that family
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
