Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ttyl tear gas
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
