Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
