you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
