Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
