I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no. you can't hotbox the world.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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