just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She's the barista slut.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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