After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
