kristin has been a bad kristin
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
