Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
