After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
