To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need water and some morals
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I party with great urgency now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
