Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
