Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
