you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so let's talk penis.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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