I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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